Monday, July 13, 2009

This gives me hope that I'm not THAT bad...

If you know me well, you know this: I have one of the worst potty mouths ever. I can turn it off in front of little kids, but that's about it. This article gives me hope, hahaha

July 13, 2009
[BLEEP!] That hurts!
Posted: 06:32 AM ET

By Caitlin Hagan
CNN Medical Associate Producer
http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2009/07/13/bleep-that-hurts/

OK America, I confess: Sometimes I can be a little bit of a potty mouth. (Mom, maybe this is not a great blog for you to read.) Yes, I know those dirty little words are unbecoming to some and I really should watch my language (and I really do try!) but sometimes, when I’m walking through my condo and I stub my baby pinky toe on a table leg and the pain takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes and makes me freeze with my foot mid-air in ridiculous pain….well, I can’t be held accountable for anything four-lettered I may say. (D**n it!)

Thankfully, Dr. Richard Stephens and his team at Keele University in the United Kingdom just published a study that says swearing actually has a pain-lessening effect. (See Mom? It’s healthy!) When we swear, we increase our threshold for pain, meaning we can bear it longer and don’t feel it as much. Stephens is not sure why this happens, only that for some reason, “swearing appears to increase our pain tolerance.”

Like those moments when I stub my toe, Stephens came up with the idea to study this after he accidentally whacked his finger with a hammer. “I swore a bit and then around the same time, our daughter was born. My wife swore throughout her labor…and the midwife said don’t worry about it, we hear that language all the time.” Not surprising, says clinical psychologist Paula Bloom. “From my own experience of giving birth without drugs to a 9 pound, 11 ounce child, I can imagine I had quite the little truck driver vocabulary going on.”

For the study, Stephens asked the participants to submerge one hand in nearly freezing water for as long as they could while repeating a curse word. Later the participants submerged the same hand again, this time repeating a word they would use to describe a table. When people were cursing, they kept their hand in the water for 40 more seconds than they could otherwise. So what were the words that made that possible? Turns out they were different for everyone. “We decided at the outset that people would give us their own swear words,” Stephens said. “Swearing is quite personal and what one person finds extremely offensive, someone else may not find offensive at all.” That being said, the usual suspects topped the list: s**t, the F word and British slang – bollocks!

All joking aside, many people find swearing to be incredibly distasteful, regardless of when or why it happens. Bloom thinks this study may change that. “This removes the morality piece about language. We’re so quick to judge and sometimes our judgment interferes with science. We’re walking around thinking [swearing] is a bad thing…it’s not really.” Stephens agrees. “Swearing has gotten very bad publicity– it’s a negatively construed thing. But the positive aspect of it is swearing self-regulates our emotions. It can have a beneficial effect.”

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Cancer Blog: Part One

I have been avoiding blogging because I haven’t wanted to write out the realness that is going on in my life. I have been depressed for the last month, but you don’t realize how useless the things you were depressed over were until you get news like we got. I’m just writing this because I will have writers and an artistic block (I’ve been working on the same painting for a week now but can’t get past my two ideas for the background) until I get it out. So here goes:

My family had been concerned about my Dad’s health for a couple of months, nothing TOO serious, but the worry was there. He had been losing weight, albeit it was TRYING to, and having trouble eating. Weeks ago, when he was on vacation he decided to go to the doctor to finally get this all sorted out. He did a Barium swallow test and they found a blockage in his esophagus. Days later, he did a scope at Wyandotte hospital, and the doctor confirmed the words we didn’t want to her. My Dad has Esophageal cancer. So, honestly, that day we were upset obviously, but Norman and I have tried to stay of the opinion that there’s no reason to really freak out over what we don’t know is going to happen. This is a key running theme in this story. I will not lie to you and tell you I haven’t cried or freaked out, because I have. I think I have experienced the saddest moment of my life this year, when I just could not pull it together and I was in hysterics. But still, why freak over what you don’t know to be true. Easier said then done. ANYWAY! We went to his family doctor that day, got the appointment set up for the CAT scan, and he did that.

My mom is lucky enough to be good friends with a wonderful woman and radiologist at Karmanos who got us an appointment with the best doctor they could offer us. He is the gastrointestinal specialist there, trained and worked at the Cleveland Clinic, and was highly recommended. When we went for the appointment with him a few weeks later to figure out what was going on his sense of humor and warm but firm instructions reaffirmed in my mind that we were going with the best choice. At first he marveled at my Dad’s happy demeanor and good physical shape and thought that there was no way the cancer had spread, and promised that if my Dad listened to him he’d be able to cure his cancer. After leaving and reviewing the CAT scan, he came back with the information that my Dad’s cancer had spread and there was no cure. My Dad has stage four cancer…there is no stage five.

Obviously, I was shocked and scared and ANGRY…boy, I was angry. I have been dealing with my anger about this in therapy and I swear to you that I yelled so much in therapy the other day that I left with a headache. My Dad is a young, funny, vibrant person whose greatest love in life is the work that he does. Beside worrying about his life, I’m just worried about his livelihood. The doctor said that the goal is to control his cancer, because there is no cure for stage four of this particular disease, and to help the patient retain a good quality of life. A shard of hope was sent our way, and I’m holding onto it for dear life. My dad is patient 38 of 39 in a clinical study at Karmanos, thats only in the works at two hospitals in the WORLD, Karmanos being one of them. This special study is a kind of chemo that is supposed to have lessened side effects so that the patients may be able to work or go about life in a more normal way. My Dad will be getting chemo every three weeks, at Karmanos, and he’ll be getting regular scans to make sure that it’s working. If it’s not, they will try something else. The other bit of hope that we received was his PET scan results; his cancer is only in his esophagus and he has 5 tiny spots in his lungs all under 5 cm. Tascha, his radiologist, said this is a good sign – nothing in the brain or bones, so who knows what can happen.

I feel scared, I feel hurt, and worried and hopeful and strong and shattered and sick and blessed and crazy all at the same time. I thank my lucky stars for having such wonderful, strong people around me and for having living proof that cancer is no longer a death sentence surrounding me. You will not believe how many people have been affected by this disease personally or closely until it happens to you or someone in your family. I am surrounded by survivors, fighters, and their cheerleaders. I’m joining the ranks. I won’t lie and say that I’m going to be ok through all of this, because right now the thought of my Dad going through the pain and suffering the treatment will put him through makes me want to break in half, but I will try my hardest to keep Daddy’s little girl and Daddy’s cheerleader as separate people. I am so blessed to have beautiful family members, the best partner a person can ask for, so many great friends and cheerleaders myself. I thank you all for everything you’ve done/will do for me.

I said at the beginning of this post that I spent weeks before this news being depressed. I won’t lie, I’m not exactly in the right place right now, but I’m going to work on getting better. I think sometimes a huge slap in the face tells us things we need to know and realize that our insecurities and blockages won’t let us see and know. I’m always about turning the negative into the positive, and although it’s going to be hard, that’s my plan of action.

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”
-Christopher Reeve

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

There goes my hero...

I was absolutely delighted to read this article, and I couldn't be prouder of the woman who was always proud of me. This woman is the reason I knew that I wanted to be a teacher; she is a gift to the city of Trenton and has helped to shape many many MANY lives. I am so proud!




TRENTON: Elementary teacher receives district's Golden Apple award

By Francesca Chilargi


Patricia Mazure, a teacher at Taylor Elementary School in Trenton, was awarded the district's Golden Apple award.

TRENTON — Patricia Mazure loves teaching her fifth-graders.

The Taylor Elementary School instructor, 60, enjoys teaching the children language arts and social studies, working with them and their personalities, watching them grow and seeing the light of learning glow.

“You know that they’re getting something that you’ve been trying to impart,” she said. “I just love teaching.”

Mazure’s fervor for her students is one of the reasons she landed the district’s Golden Apple award.

She received her award at Monday’s Board of Education meeting.

Taylor Principal Janice Misko nominated Mazure for the award.

Anyone can nominate a teacher, coach, parents or anybody else for the award. The school district gives out up to seven annually and has been recognizing people since the 1970s.

Mazure, who nabbed her first Golden Apple award, is quick to point out that she can’t take all of the credit.

“I am very honored, but I really think everyone in our building is part of this because we all share the same family of kids,” she said.

Mazure has been teaching fifth grade for 15 years at Taylor and before that she taught at the now-closed Owen Elementary School.

Receiving the award surprised the city resident because it has been a while since a teacher from Taylor had been selected.

Growing up in the community, Mazure attended Trenton Public Schools and so did her four children.

She has no plans to retire any time soon.

“As long as I get up every morning, I continue to love my job and I feel I am doing my job well, I don’t see a reason to retire,” she said. “Why would you want to leave something like that?

“I am very fortunate I have a career that I love because so many people just work a job. It’s like a gift and I am not going to turn my back on it now.”

Monday, June 15, 2009

Happy Happy Birthday Baby...

I'm trying really hard right now to think positive about everything, and I decided that I needed to blog about some positive experiences. I've yet to write about Dave's birthday, so here we go:

Dave's birthday was a two parter. About a week before his birthday, I decided that we needed to surprise him. I threw together a trip to Dave and Buster’s as a surprise for him. It almost wasn’t a surprise, and I’m not quite sure it actually wasn’t, but Dave says he didn’t know. I made a facebook event to get everyone there and I forgot to make it a secret for about two hours, oops!
At any rate, everyone came over, and we watched the GI Joe videos while we waited for Dave to call me. Dave called and about 8 men shoved their way into my bathtub to hide. What a surprise, haha…



We drove up and had a total blast. What a cool place! We pooled all of our tickets together and Dave got some really great stuff. I got a mug!






The day before Dave’s birthday we went to dinner at PF changes which was super yummy and then set off to go to see Coldplay at DTE! They are his favorite band, and they totally rock, so I was really happy to go. I got a little carsick on the way, and Dave was so sweet to let us stop and get a coke so I could burp it out, hahaha! I hope he always remembers our first birthday together as the one that I burped for an hour in the car. We got to the show and it was a blast! These pictures will show you, this band puts on one HELL of a show! So many props, Chris Martin was AMAZING live…just a total blast.





I always thought I'd know what songs I would want to be "our songs" when I found the one, but I think the moment that I found "our song"...or at least what I think is one of ours. I have never found words that fit us more than this song, and really the moment was just perfect. I've always liked this song, but in that moment it just made so much sense and was so beautiful. It means so much more now that all of this craziness is in my life. Wow, that was mushy. :)


Fix You - Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you



Sunday, June 14, 2009

and THIS is why I LOATHE Sidney Crosby...

...it's not his crustache, it's not his weak/playgroud attitude of going dramatically into the locker room any time he gets checked, or even the obviously favoritism that ever announcer and member of the NHL's counsel has for him...

THIS proves, Sidney Crosby is a world class douche bag.



Read this article and then watch the video. He's so young, and it shows. How rude.

Loss, Crosby’s snub leave Wings with bitter taste

DETROIT (AP)—The Red Wings can accept that Pittsburgh is the Stanley Cup champion. Getting snubbed by Sidney Crosby(notes) is another matter.

After watching Pittsburgh hoist the Cup on Detroit’s ice, the Red Wings lined up to shake hands with the Penguins as is custom in the NHL playoffs.

Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom(notes) was up front, followed by alternate captain Kris Draper(notes), congratulating many of the new champions while waiting for Pittsburgh’s captain.

“Nick was waiting and waiting, and Crosby didn’t come over to shake his hand,” Draper told an Associated Press reporter a couple hours later as he was leaving Joe Louis Arena. “That’s ridiculous, especially as their captain, and make sure you write that I said that!”
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Crosby eventually skated over to shake hands with the Red Wings, but many had already headed for the dressing room. Detroit forward Johan Franzen(notes) and Crosby exchanged words and Crosby then shook hands with goaltender Chris Osgood(notes) and some other Detroit players.

The Penguins were unhappy with the accusation, especially since Crosby was photographed going through the line.

“Nobody respects the traditions of hockey more than Sidney Crosby,” team vice president Tom McMillan said. “It was a young team celebrating its first Cup and some of the guys might have been a little late getting into the handshake line.”

The losing team almost always leaves the ice quickly following an elimination loss, especially during the finals, and it was uncertain how long Lidstrom waited.

Pittsburgh didn’t need Crosby to finish off the Red Wings, beating them 2-1 in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals without the superstar healthy enough to play for the whole game.

Detroit was bitter about blowing 2-0 and 3-2 leads in the series, but the previous champions gave the Penguins their due.

“You’ve got to give them credit,” Red Wings coach Mike Babcock said.

Goaltender Chris Osgood agreed.

“We’re not stunned,” he said. “They had a good team.”

The Red Wings were good, too, just not good enough to overcome hurt or misfiring stars in the finals.

They swept Columbus, survived a seven-game series against Anaheim and skated past Chicago in five games as MVP finalist Pavel Datsyuk(notes) missed several games with a foot injury and Marian Hossa(notes) scoring in just three games.

But the Red Wings couldn’t hold on to hoist the Cup for the second straight year and fifth time in 12 seasons when Datsyuk was out early in the finals and Hossa mustered only three assists against his former teammates.

“Any time you win three games in a final, you have a chance,” Babcock said. “We just didn’t have enough to get it done.

“The guys that were injured on our team this year never got their game back to the level it could be. And they were significant players for us.”

Hossa wasn’t hurt.

He was just ineffective.

Hossa seemed to crumble in the spotlight after turning down a lucrative, long-term contract last summer to stay with the runner-up Penguins to take a one-season shot at the Cup with the defending champions.

Hossa is eligible to be an unrestricted free agent again, but he wasn’t ready to talk about his plans.

“I can’t think about that now,” he said. “I’m sure we’ll have some talks.”

The Red Wings will have some interesting decisions to make this offseason because they probably can’t keep Hossa along with key free agents such as Jiri Hudler(notes), Mikael Samuelsson(notes), Tomas Kopecky(notes) and Ville Leino(notes).

Detroit general manager Ken Holland answered some of the franchise’s questions during the regular season by signing Henrik Zetterberg(notes) to a contract through the 2020-21 season and Franzen to an 11-year contract.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said the deals, which are set up to pay the players much less toward the end of the contracts, don’t circumvent the salary cap.

“The rules allow what the Red Wings have done,” Bettman said during the playoffs. “But if I was running a team, which I’m not, I would opt for shorter-term contracts.

“If they keep doing it, some of the contracts will probably turn out to be great and some will lead to people scratching their heads.”

Zetterberg likes his team’s chances of competing for a championship next June and in the years to come.

“We still have a good team,” Zetterberg said shortly after shaving his two-month thick beard. “It’s going to make us stronger. We’ve got a great group of guys here that are going to be around for a number of years.”

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The louder he spoke of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons



This is a lesson I've learned so much this year.

I've learned it through life experiences, through changes toward happiness.
I've learned it through crass remarks, and ludicrous phone calls.

I'm learning more every day, but I'm glad this is something I already know: I wouldn't let the color of my skin, the way I look, where I was born, or what others think of me define me;

I sure as HELL will NEVER let a piece of paper define me or the ones that I love.

Thank you and goodnight.