Katie

"After hearing about Katie’s passing this morning, as I was driving to work a DJ on the radio said, “finally we have some sunshine!” and I started to cry. Although this world is missing one of the sweetest to ever step foot on it’s soil, I truly believe with all my heart that Katie will be bringing us all sunshine for years and years to come. Some people touch your life for awhile and then they have to leave you, and by the looks of this group many have felt the joy of knowing such a sweet, funny and loving girl. When I remember Katie, I will remember laughing and laughing and laughing. I will remember dancing in our German IV classroom and laughing some more. I will remember a girl who bridged the gap of people and crowds in high school with her kind and open heart - the girl who could make friends with anyone. I will remember warm hugs and hellos years after high school was over. I will remember the day at Applebee’s when she ran up to my table, hugged me, and invited me to come to her graduation party from nursing school. I will remember a soul so important to so many that she started a movement in our highest level of state government to make the world a better place for other people. I will think of the group of 5,335 people who were broken hearted on February 18th, 2010. I will remember the sunshine. I love you Viger, and I KNOW you are having a dance party with the angels. You are and will always be missed and loved. No pain anymore. Just love and love and love. ♥" (My post on the day Katie went to heaven.)

This picture warms my heart and makes me cry. It was Katie's passing away this week and my hours of sobbing and questioning that sparked something in me. I, for the first time in years and years, went to church and enjoyed it. That's really all I want to say about church. At any rate, I've come to the conclusion that if people like the two pictured above can be made to leave this place at such an early age, where ever they are going must be absolutely beautiful, amazing, and in need of some real angels. My fistful of glitter this week comes from the loss of my Aunt Daryl, in a time of great sadness for her, and Angel Katie, who was ready to go and bring us beautiful sunshiney days.

What Your Face Reveals About Your Health

I found this article to be extremely interesting and accurate. Thought I'd share the wealth. I definitely have some of these symptoms!


http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/24009/what-your-face-reveals-about-your-health/

What Your Face Reveals About Your Health
Ask Dr. Mao
By Dr. Maoshing Ni - Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010, 10:52 am PST

What do you see when you look in the mirror? According to Chinese medicine, your face is a window to your health. Your forehead, nose, chin, right cheek, left cheek: Each of these five face zones gives you clues to what is going on inside your body--if you know what to look for! Read on to decode what your face reveals about you.

How Traditional Chinese Medicine Reads the Body to Detect Disease

Most people don't realize that their face provides information about what's going on beneath the surface. Your body speaks a unique language to communicate the imbalances within it. Chinese medicine has mastered the art and science of reading the body's language over its five thousand year practice. Each part of your face reflects a different element from the Chinese 5-Element network (fire, earth, water, metal, and wood), which in turn, corresponds to a particular organ grouping. Your reflection offers visual cues to what may be happening within your internal systems--such as your heart, stomach, hormones and even your mind and spirit.

In some situations visual cues will immediately alert you of an issue, and you can take measures immediately. But the real value of self-inspection is in detecting subtle imbalances and dealing with them preventively through diet, herbal supplementation, and lifestyle practices. By reading your body, you can take care of small problems before they become big health issues.

The Forehead

According to Chinese medicine, the forehead corresponds to the fire element. This is associated with the heart and small intestine organ network, as well as the mind and spirit.

Forehead: Fire Element - Heart/Small Intestine

When examining your forehead, look for redness or small blood vessels that appear as discoloration, which could indicate a heart problem. Skin discoloration could also be caused by a recent emotionally-charged experience, such as a breakup or loss. It is common for people whose emotions are regularly in turmoil to have a constant furrow between their eyebrows.

A heart attack can often be foretold by a subtle bluish-green hue on the forehead. If you have discoloration on your forehead accompanied by heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, and tingling or pain in your left arm, schedule an appointment with a cardiologist or visit an emergency room, if necessary.

Your Nose

Your nose corresponds to the earth element, indicating a connection to the stomach, spleen and pancreas network.

Nose: Earth Element - Spleen/Pancreas/Stomach

Symptoms of internal discord typically show up as a pimple on the tip or side of your nose. Think back to your meals from the previous day. Did you eat a lot of spicy, deep-fried, fatty, or rich foods? How about chocolate? If the answer is "yes," your choice of cuisine could be the problem. As a result, you may suffer from indigestion, constipation, or diarrhea.

Broken capillaries or redness across the bridge of the nose could reveal alcohol abuse, or it may simply mean excessive worry and stress, which taxes your earth element network. I had a patient who would de-stress from her taxing executive job with alcohol and sweets, and her nose always gave these indiscretions away. I recommended she calm her nerves in healthier ways, like meditation and other stress-releasing techniques.

Your Chin

The chin area is related to the water element, which is internally associated to your kidney and bladder organ network, including the hormonal system and glands.

Chin: Water Element - Kidney/Bladder

Blemishes, discoloration and dark patches of skin around the chin and mouth could indicate problems within the kidneys or bladder. Recurrent acne breakouts around your chin may signify a hormonal imbalance. The problem is most often due to the body producing excess estrogen or testosterone and tends to be coupled with irregular menstruation in women and prostate symptoms in men.

Be sure to also look at your philtrum, the indentation just above your lips. This small area relates to the uterus and ovaries in women and the prostate and genitals in men. Horizontal lines, blemishes or discoloration across the philtrum may indicate infertility issues due to problems such as endometriosis or uterine fibroid cysts.

According to Chinese medicine, people who have a small chin are genetically predispositioned to weakness in their kidney and bladder network. However, this doesn't mean that small-chinned people will develop kidney disease. The information is simply an alert that a tendency may exist, and patients can choose to make lifestyle changes to prevent the development of a condition.

Your Right Cheek

Your right cheek corresponds to the metal element, meaning this area of your face is connected to the lung and large intestine network.

Right Cheek: Metal Element - Lung/Large Intenstine

Problems in the lung and large intestine network present themselves as discoloration, blemishes and skin problems on your right cheek. A mild acne breakout, eczema patch or slight redness may mean a cold is coming on. Lung illness or upper respiratory ailments also trigger visual symptoms on the right cheek.

People who are prone to respiratory allergies or asthma have a tendency to have a reddish, scaly eczema, a slight rash or slight bluish-green hue along the right cheek--showing too much heat or inflammation in the respiratory system, or a lack of oxygen from bronchial constriction. One of my many pediatric patients who suffered from allergic asthma always displayed an eczema-like patch right before a flare up of her allergy attack, a very useful tip off. I instructed her mother to treat her right away with herbs for allergies to avert an asthma attack.

Your Left Cheek

The left cheek corresponds to your wood element, or the liver-gallbladder network.

Left Cheek: Wood Element - Liver/Gallbladder

Broken capillaries and redness, especially up next to the bridge of your nose, indicate heat, inflammation or congestion of toxins in the liver. Bulging veins, redness, and rash sometimes signal high blood pressure and pent-up anger. A yellowish hue under the left eye may indicate gallstones or high triglycerides or cholesterol, which are processed by the liver-gall bladder network.

Problems in this part of the face can also reveal emotional issues, such as anger and depression, since the liver and gallbladder network includes the nervous system.
Please keep in mind that there are many ways that your body alerts you to imbalances. As you learn this visual method, you'll want to be able to confirm your findings from one body part with observations from others, such as the eyes, tongue, and nails. Want to learn more? Get your own copy of Secrets of Self-Healing, where you can find in-depth information.

Keep all five elements healthy and get a whole body tune-up with a balanced combination of 44 traditional Chinese herbs that support healthy function of the bodily systems, the Five Elements of Health Formula.

I hope this article helps you find out what your face is telling you! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

Something I love...

Although I'm having some severe issues with their customer relations department...ugh, I won't go into that in here, this is supposed to be uber positive!...The Body Shop is something that I love.

What I love most about the body shop (besides their wonderful products that I will get into in a minute) is the setup of their business and the good that they do in the world. Besides being completely against animal testing, defending human rights, pro self esteem and pretty damn amazing - their products support a community trade program worldwide, which I can totally dig.

From thebodyshop.com...

The Body Shop® spends around $11.5 million annually buying ingredients, gifts and accessories from communities across the world, paying a fair price and giving producers access to a global market that would normally be out of their reach.

Thanks to your purchases, over 25,000 people in more than 20 countries across the world are earning a fair wage and working in fair conditions.

WHAT IS COMMUNITY TRADE?
Community Trade is our commitment to trading fairly and responsibly with suppliers. We actively seek out small-scale farmers, traditional craftspeople, rural cooperatives and even tribal vaillages - all of them highly skilled experts at their work. Together we forge deep, long-lasting relationships, rewarding our suppliers with good trading practices and a reliable, independence-building wage.

I just think it's so awesome. The way I know it's real? Read the labels. See whats in the products that you are putting on your skin and you will get some insight to why/why they don't work.

My suggestions?

If you are lucky enough to be extremely Irish like myself and have a redness/sensitive skin issue like moi, I would highly suggest their aloe line:
http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/aloe-skin-care


I use the moisturizing face wash, the exfoliate, the moisturizer, and the toner. It really really works. When I am consistent with using their products, my skin is beautiful.


My new favorite thing?


The honey and oat scrub mask. Deep cleanse, polish and moisturize your skin in one easy step with a 3-in-1 mask! Aren't masks so fun? :) Seriously though, this stuff smells so good as soon as I put it on my face I just wanna eat it up.

Anyway, the body shop always provides me with a fistful of glitter. I can spend an hour shopping online or in their store. This would be my top suggestion for skin care, bubble bath, body butter, or spa products!

You called me sugar....

So I’ve come up with this idea of how not to feel like shit about myself anymore.
What a gentle beginning.

Alright, back story. This parts probably going to come out a little bit pessimistic sounding and crappy but I think it has to or you don’t get the point, I don’t know. Anyway, here goes.

I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t know if it’s a combination of growing up, people getting sick and dying around me, having “short hair”, taking medicines for problems that seniors citizens have, dealing with weight gain, feeling either extremely older or younger than most of my friends, or watching “What not to Wear” and realizing that most of my closet contains clothes that look younger than I feel right now, not to mention DON’T FIT…I don’t know. Things are weird. Piss.

I feel like I went to therapy for two years, felt fantastic for awhile, obtained my goal of being able to let go of myself enough to fall in love, (and stay in love, love you bunny!) [aww, that was a little break in the clouds there] but then it started cracking. I know a lot of this bullshit happened when Dad got sick, and friends got sick, and money got tight, the semester was very difficult and people moved out and on on and on and on on and on, but…I’ve come to realize that through therapy I lost a lot of who really did make me happy at sometimes. I’ve spent 6-8 months in the gloom and doom of my room which is not actually gloomy or doomy at all but my bad attitude and inability to relate to other human beings at the current stage of my life made it as dark and cold as the catacombs.

What I’m digging at about this therapy thing was that I realized through all of that work that I invested too much time in other people and their happiness and ignored mine when none of them every relayed the favor. Okay, that makes sense. I changed some things, felt pretty good, things happened, whatever. When my Dad got sick and people reach out to you for like a month and then totally forget what you are going through and don’t even ask anymore…you start to feel like ASS. I decided this sensitive subject was something I was going to have to deal with on my own, and did. Not to say that no one cared, because people did care, and I totally understand that this is the kind of situation where sometimes you just don’t know what to say…I don’t know. I end like every sentence in ‘I don’t know’ when I’m talking and when
I’m blogging. ANYWAY…

The point is I lost a huge part of myself when I stopped living for other people. I am not saying I am going to back to my old ways, but I think it’s time to reach out to the world a bit more, and even if I don’t give back exactly what I put in, it will make me feel a bit more worthwhile and bring some joy to me. I think maybe at that time I was just reaching out to the wrong people. It’s time to change that.
I have devised a little project and I’m going to try to share it on this blog. If you know me well, you know that music and especially lyrics can kill me in a second. There are just certain songs that I can’t help but cry during, and the list might surprise you because some of them are extremely happy songs. I attach faces, memories, moments and feelings to each word and it just overwhelms me. Since I’ve been thinking about how to make things better and making out a game plan, when I was watching the Grammys and pink’s AMAZING performance, I listened to the lyrics in that song and they reached me in a bigger way than they ever had before. It was just the right moment.


Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, ‘I just don’t care.”



So, the name of my project is now fistful of glitter. Maybe the FOG project for short. That’s what I’ll tag it at in here. I am going to try to think more about what things in my life make me happy and recognize the moments that make my soul sparkle. I think I’m going to find that there is a lot I’ve been overlooking.

I’m not trying to like pimp out my blog or be like heyyy look at me, but I’m detaching it from my facebook and I’m encouraging comments and ideas. I want to follow through on this, and knowing what I know about myself – I thrive off of people – some feedback might help.

I swear I'm going to try to do this more regularly!

This is going to the the blog to end all blogs, haha…

I have been meaning to write so much…there is constantly so much going around in my head that is supposed to make it to this blog and I never have a moment to sit down and write it out.

Luckily, I finished homework a little early, and while I’m watching my lovely TLC shows, it’s time to get them out.

I have experienced so much in the past month or so, it’s been very eye opening and wonderful and scary and suspenseful all at the same time.

Firstly, an update on Dad – he’s been getting his chemo every three weeks and getting scans. The cancer is basically gone from his lungs, which is incredible because that’s the only place it spread to besides his tumor. Way to kick stage four cancer right in the ass, Daddio. The tumor is still there and they are working on trying to see how it’s shrinking/if it’s shrinking, but I guess the way that it is situated makes it hard to see in a CAT scan. He’s got a scan coming up on the 13th, and what we are praying is that soon, like the doctors even said, they might be able to consider some “maintenance work” which would be something different than chemo because it’s really breaking Dad’s spirits right now. It’s really hard on him, and it’s hard to watch him go through so much just to be able to live – obviously for himself, but for us too. It makes you feel so guilty. They didn’t say that for sure they would be able to try something new or when they would, so we just have to see. I think what’s the hardest on our family is that all of us are not very good at not being in control of what’s going on. It’s a life changer and point of view changer, for sure.



Next, I got to fulfill a life dream of sitting in the front row of the Fox Theatre awhile back ago. Mind you, this was at Curious George Live, haha, but the best part of all of it was that I got to see my beautiful Marty on stage doing what he was born to do. It was honestly a dream come true. I was so dewy eyed the entire time, and it was extra fun because my Mom was right next to me. We talked about when I was a little kid going to see Sesame Street Live with my Uncle Rich, and I thought it was kind of sweet that we were together doing that again. I have not felt pride like that in so long. My heart swelled for my super star who I have always known would be doing this. It was so inspiring and it made me question my own goals and what really makes me happy. (Back to that soon!)



Next was Sam and John’s wedding which was fulfilling another self prophecy of how amazing it would be when it happened, haha. And let me tell you, it was even better! I don’t know a couple who belongs together more than Sam and John, and Dave and I had a blast hanging with old friends and meeting new ones. We took a bunch of great photo booth pictures and had lots of fun dancing. I feel so honored to have shared such a special day with two of the best people I know, and I can’t wait to see where life takes them and US together! <3



Rocky opened and closed in what seemed like a whirlwind of constant new casting and changes to the theory of the show, but it was as fun as ever and ended up being received very well. I definitely enjoyed meeting so many new friends and I think my favorite part of the Rocky experience is seeing next cast members participate in a midnight show for the first time – I swear, you feel like you’re famous. It’s just incredible. That show makes you feel so good about yourself, how you look, who you are – and I wish we could all harness that feeling more in our daily lives. I’ll definitely miss it and it makes me a little sad that it seemed to fly by so so so fast this year.

One thing I’ve realized from all of this is that I’ve got to sink my teeth into some creativity soon. Like, BIG TIME. I am rounding home base on the having a degree in Child Development thing, and I just would really love to get involved in the theatre in a bigger way. I know I need to work on my physical being and brush up on my skills, but I’d like to say I have the experience of audition for something real. I think I could do it, honestly. Especially children’s theater…it’s like I was meant to do it. I am just longing to work somewhere that has a solid staff and a good work ethic and somewhere that cranks out some serious shows…I can do this. Details to follow as I pursue this idea, whether it be trying to find a new group to audition for, etc. whatever…I don’t know just yet.

Life is great, even though at times right now it seems a little rough. I am nannying two amazing little girls who constantly make me smile and make me proud of them. I enjoy my time at Gymboree, and the center at HFCC where I am logging practicum hours. I love my man more than words can explain. I just got to belt it from my toenails on stage and it felt so good to make music and art with people that I love. Tootsie Rolls and Arnold Palmer Lites are delicious as ever, and Christmas is just around the corner. When times get hard, I think I’ll try to write a little more about what’s going on in my life and fill that bucket – it’s amazing what a positive attitude and a little reflection can do.

Sláinte Mhath!

…and if I capture it on film will it mean that it’s the end and I’m alone?

I have seriously felt the need to get back to blogging, and it’s kind of funny because with all that’s going on in my life currently I have felt no need to write about any of it. What’s also funny is that this summer I have infinite amounts of time to do whatever I wanted because I was basically unemployed and responsibility free. The funny thing about being unemployed? You can’t afford to do anything. So, instead of embracing the time that I had and being happy just to be, I spent a lot of time just being uber depressed and lurking in the pulled-blinds darkness of my room.

I think it’s time to be done with that.

The infiltration of cancer in my life has taught me one thing; life is a gift and a responsibility, and if you don’t live it to the fullest it is your fault. It is your duty to make it the best you can. I think I spend too much time thinking about my duty to improve the lives of others to realize that I am neglecting my own needs and I’m not nurturing my own life. I find that I am my happiest when focusing on improving or adding to something. I’m all about the improvement in everything; I think it’s a teacher thing.

One problem I have been painfully suffering with lately is the fact that I am not so happy about how I look. I think this comes from a summer or undryed hair and makeupless face. It comes from fast food twice a day and a lack of fresh food. It comes from the unwillingness to buy new clothes because I don’t want to look at the size on the label. It comes from a constant comparison to the few females I hang out with who weigh about 6 pounds. It comes from constantly hiding behind a camera instead of being in the picture.

What’s strange right now is that my camera is broken, so I don’t even have the chance to hide behind it. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve slipped away from my group of friends and chosen to stay at home, laughing along with my "friends" in the sitcoms and singing with my "friends" on my CDs.

There is no feeling like standing around a piano with your friends and just letting go. Rocky has been so inspiring to me this year to break free and put myself out there. There is no moment in the world that I feel better about myself than when I really let go and just sing from every inch of my being. It’s what makes me feel like, “me.” I don’t know it that makes sense…

When we went shopping for stuff for the show the other day, these two ladies happen to cross my listening path; they were both big girls, and I don’t mean to compare but they were considerably bigger than me – complaining about how the girls on the “plus size” labels are all so pretty and how it’s unrealistic. “Why can’t I look like that? It’s not fair.” I stopped in my tracks and thought to myself, why CAN’T you be plus sized, pretty and REAL? It didn’t make sense to me. Obviously those women on the label had makeup and hair artists, and pretty fancy clothes, but I stopped and thought about it and realized…well maybe they look so good because they aren’t wearing sweatpants, with their hair in a pulled up pony? Maybe they took the time to take pride in how they looked and felt, and it seems to me that this boost of confidence that they have is in part due to the fact that they were wearing something that made them feel good about themselves. They took the time to make themselves feel good. That’s what it boils down to. For some people, it might not be “looking good.” Maybe it’s being in shape, or being good at a sport, or having your nails done or…I don’t know, working on your novel or getting your eyeliner on straight…it’s gotta be what works for you.

So what works for me? I don’t know, it’s a mix of things I guess. I just got my gym membership back. I love to dance, so Zumba is a really good class for me. I just wish there were more times I could get to it. I love putting on my ipod and hitting the elliptical too, so that’ll be good. I’ve been “dieting,” but my mind is always disdainful toward the idea of a diet. I’m trying to buy diet soda. I’m keeping track of what I’m eating, and Thursday is my “cheat” day. I’m not gonna stop the world and not go out to dinner with a friend or have a cookie if I want a damn cookie, but I’m just going to try to make better choices and be aware of what I’m putting into my body, and also very importantly, what it does to my body when I put it in. Besides trying to get physical, I think the most of this needs to be emotional and cognitive. I need to spend more time thinking about what works for me and thinking of me in general. I’ve gotta put myself out there to make and maintain friends and get phone calls to go do things. I’ve spent so much time brooding over my group of friends changing so drastically and not feeling like I have a place to fit in anymore, and I know that my private grief and reactions to what my family is currently experiencing has been a huge part of my seclusion, but I guess I’ve gotta try a little harder to get out and do things. I’ve got to love and be loved, I suppose.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to try to be a little more dedicated to blogging and documenting. It’s good for my soul, and it’s one of the things that “works for me.” It helps to organize my thoughts and sometimes things just come out when I’m writing that don’t come out when I’m just thinking.
So  

you tell 'em, sister...