DISCLAIMER: After reading this I realized that I forgot to mention WHY I had posted it. I wanted to write this to let you know part of the reason I've been so incognito lately. I've had some extreme family drama, some emotional issues, this weighing on me; I've been working through alot of stuff. I am sorry that I've seemed to evaporate from the world and society lately. I am sorry if I have evaded hanging out, commitments, being there for you, I've just been through alot lately and I'm reevaluating. Please understand that I am finishing out my semester at EMU, I am taking what I have and making it work in a way that will get me a degree, and I am going to be doing what I actually love in a way that works for me. LOVE and GOOD KARMA! <3
Salutations! (I always loved that party in Charlotte’s Web!)
Hello dear friends, I am writing to you, and well, to me as well, this is a blog after all to let you know that I’ve decided to make some change. I guess nothing in life is actually ever really official until it happens, but until further notice (ie, I find a ton of money, inspiration or whatever) I will be leaving EMU after this semester. In all honesty, I love EMU so much and I’d spend the rest of my life learning here if I could, and I do plan to come back and finish my BA here eventually, but as for now, EMU just isn’t working for me.
It’s not really even EMU. (God knows I love my Eagles, My Fraternity, EVERYTHING about EMU!) It’s the time, it’s the money, it’s my own lack of drive, it’s being ill and busy and leading a crazy life that includes three jobs, It’s the lack of passion to actually teach public school. It’s my flighty tendencies and free as a bird manta. It’s my hope for the future and hope for my future happiness. It’s undependable cars, a face paced world, and student loans and me.
Due to a few individuals, I’ve learned the job security means nothing. I’ve learned that a fancy degree that can provide you “financial security” doesn’t really mean that much. I’ve realized that doing a job doesn’t mean you’re “doing” something. I’ve learned and I am learning that life can change in the blink of the eye, and I’m prepared to say that I’m not ready to spend time and money and WASTE it on something when I could be doing what I love in a different way.
I honestly do know that to teach public school I’ll need a BA, and I think that’s something I may want to do at some point, but as of right now, my heart, mind and wallet cannot wrap around the concept. I am proud of myself for realizing this, and even though people might think I’m making a downgrade by just getting an associate’s degree for now, I am feeling majorly UPGRADED because I feel like I’m doing the right thing for once. I’ve been so conflicted for the past years about this!
I wanted to say thank you to the following people for inspiration (even though you probably didn’t know you gave me any) on this matter: Jason, Jen, Shannon, Amber, My Mom, Jamie, Lindsey, Trisha, Emily, Courtney, Allie, many others, and of course Dave. I’d love to talk to you about this, however you may feel.
I need to be out of school for awhile because I am not excelling like I know I can and should be. After this semester, I’m going to go to HFCC and finish probably this fall/winter (if I need the extra HFCC credits) and then I’ll hopefully be able to work as a lead teacher, title one teacher, etc. etc.
I feel like I am making the right decision and I had to do this because my ego is a bit bruised that I am not going to finish something I started. I think learning to be ok with those things is a huge part of adulthood. Thank you for the inspiration and constant support.
Wahla, out. <3
2 comments:
I think this is the best decision you can make! You have to make sure you're doing what you feel is right.
I hope you don't feel too down about this in terms of ego-bruising. I definitely know what you mean by that, but I hope you realize that you aren't letting anyone down. And although I can't speak for everyone, I know that all of the people you surround yourself with are proud of you for the choices you make because you have a fantastic head on your shoulders. You are an amazing woman, and this is what you have to do right now.
Society tells us we have to be this or be that, but who the heck care what society says? What matters is where your passion lies, and what it is going to take you to get there. That is a different path/road for everyone and right now you're doing what feels best in your heart and mind. I fully support your decision.
If anyone has anything bad to say about you making this choice, they can put a sock in it. You are working your butt off and dedicate yourself to so many things and people...which in my eyes is the best use of your time. Developing relationships with and influencing others. You don't need a BA to do that.
Anyway, I'm proud of you for everything you do and I hope you find less stress and more happiness after this semester while you get some finances and things in order. <3 Follow your heart.
:)
i hope we can hang out soon and catch up and talk about this in person! but to say a bit here, i think you've got everything to proud of for doing what you feel is best for you. so few people stand up for themselves...
Post a Comment