A little Irish insight for you...Cuchulainn!

So, I thought this week, since you know, today is FAKE St. Patrick's Day, I'd let you all know a little bit about some fun and quirky Irish stuff.

Dr. Manhattan? Batman? You think Wolverine is cool? Check out Cuchulainn. He was pretty much out of control...hahaha, this is actually a really weird folk tale! This dude got pissed, hulk style, and turned his whole body inside out and around! His only kryptonite? A cold swim, three times. So the next time I get furious, maybe splash a little water on me. :)


Cuchulainn was an ancient Gaelic hero who was endowed with superhuman qualities. His name means 'The Hound of Culainn', but he was first called Setanta. His parents were Dechtire and Lugh Lamhfhada (Lugh of the Long Hand / Pronounce "Loo Lawvodda"). At the age of five he left home to join the Red Branch Knights, the Ulster army of the king Conor Mac Nessa. With him he took his hurley, his silver ball, his javelin and his spear. He would hit the silver ball with the hurley, leap forward and hit it a second time before it touched the ground, toss the javelin ahead and then the spear, run after them all, catch the ball and javelin with one hand and the spear with the other. When he reached the palace at Emain Macha (Armagh), he beat 150 boys at hurling and other games.

Cuchulainn achieved his name at the age of seven when he killed the watch dog of Ulster belonging to Culainn', the smith and in return undertook to protect the kingdom of Ulster and its people himself. Cuchulainn became the leader of the Red Branch Knights. In battle, he was transformed by a 'Battle Fury' which looked like this: From head to toe, his whole body trembled like a bullrush in a river torrent. His body turned right around inside his skin so that his heels, calves and hams appeared in front. One of his eyes drew right back in his head, the other stood out huge and red on his cheek. His mouth was distorted, twisted up to his ears so you could see his throat and a man's head would fit into it. His hair stood up on his head like hawthorn, and there was a drop of blood on every single hair. The light of the Champion stood out of his forehead as long and thick as a warrior's whetstone and from the top of his head rose a thick column of dark blood like the mast of a huge ship. When this happened the only way he could be calmed down was by being ducked three times in cold water.

During his lifetime he made a number of enemies, and one of these Queen Maeve of Connaught brought about his downfall. The Queen learnt of a great Brown Bull in Cooley, County Louth. The chieftan of Louth refused to let Maeve have his bull, so she resolved to get it by force. Secretly she promised her beautiful daughter in marriage to every leader in her army and so secured the help of every warrior outside Ulster. The army marched to Kells, on the Ulster border and pitched camp. Maeve sought an interview with the Ulsterman and, amazed to find him a mere boy, offered him gold and great rewards if he would desist. Cuchulainn refused, but Maeve secured his agreement to fight one of her heroes each day at the ford that lay between, reckoning that this was better than losing one hundred every night to Cuchulainn's sling. Day after day Cuchulainn fought Maeve's warriors,overcoming Morrigu, the water goddess, during his fight with the hero Loich who he still managed to wound mortally. After more such combats and deceitful ploys by Maeve, Cuchulainn mounted his war chariot and hurled himself against the men of Erin. Maeve with her forces sorely depleted, resorted once again to single combat. She finally forced Cúchulainn's foster brother Ferdia to face the Ulsterman, by threatening him with the spells of her Druids. After a great fight in which Ferdia almost proved almost a match for him, Cuchulainn badly wounded, emerged as the tragic victor. While he recoverd from his wounds, the men of Ulster began to collect themselves, and the two armies faced each other on the plains of Meath. while this great battle was raging Maeve managed to capture the Brown Bull of Cooley, which she sent back to Connaught under escort. Eventually, through the intervention of Cúchulainn the Ulster army defeated Maeve's followers and they fled back to Cruachan, from whence they had originally set out.

Cuchulainn lived on after his inceredible feats of prowess, but not for long. Maeve, having bided her time, once again brought an army together to seek revenge. She had no trouble in assembling a a great number of warriors because there was scarcely one who had not a relative slain by the Ulster hero. But it was only by magic that Cuchulainn was eventually pierced by his own spear. With great difficlulty, holding in his entrails, Cuchulainn tied himself to a high stone by a lake, because as a Gaelic hero 'he did not wish to die either sitting or lying: it was standing that he wished to meet his death'. His faithful horse protected him as he died, and it was only when a raven alighted on his shoulder that his enemies knew he was dead.