The week in pictures...

Oooh, lalaaaaa! Our sexy new porch! Thanks to Trish for the old patio set! <3



So, I didn't take this one, but I can't look at it without cracking up! SERIOUSLY! Iris is a badass!!!! SHE'S PISSED! hahaha



WHAT A FUN CONCERT! They are so damn funny, I'm so glad we all got to go!



Harper was just so stinkin' happy to be outside this week. She squealed every time a car drove by. It's so much fun to watch this little punkin' grow. :)



This was one of the most beautiful rainbows I've ever seen! It was outside of gymboree, and the picture isn't so great because you can't really tell that it's a double rainbow!

That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion...

I was about to title this post, "I think I figured something out," but then it reminded me of the Beavis and Butthead movie, and I started laughing hysterically. "Uhh...Beavis? I think I figured something out......this SUCKS." Wow, maturity is awesome.

ANYWAY - this is supposed to actually be a very serious and thoughtful blog, but of course, you know me - I can't stop thinking of things like Beavis and Butthead.

Okay, back to meaning -

So, I have struggled for many many years with spirituality. I have been blessed, in my everyday life, to be surrounded with constant examples of wonderful role models. Some people taught me about life - others about self esteem. Some people inspire and challenge my creativity, my sense of humor, my grace, my mind, my love for people - and some inspire me spiritually.

I was raised Catholic (duh, we're Irish) and I really enjoyed some parts of it. I'm a literature nut, for one thing, so I really enjoyed learning all of the different stories of the bible. I liked mass at some points because I do enjoy tradition, I like to sing, and I like to listen to good speakers. The Fathers at my churches were always really easy to relate to. I enjoyed it.

As I grew up, I found that my own personal beliefs did not mesh with those of the catholic church, which could have probably broken my sweet Irish Grandmother's heart. I have somewhat of a logical mind for a really emotional person, and quite frankly, alot of Christianity just doesn't make sense/fit with me. It's cool though, I totally respect that so many of my friends are very into Christianity. It's just not for me.

I have been so turned off to "religion" by so many, which is sad. People in this world try so hard to spread joy to others and spread the word and help save people and I really feel like so many of these people are alienating people and discrediting themselves. It's really frustrating and sad to watch, because it really does make you think differently of people.

I have a list of people who inspire me spiritually, and just to name a few:
Courtney Davidson - devout, practicing...accepting of EVERYONE, no matter what.
Shannon Tyrybon - encouraging, believing...she makes it work for her.
Shane Costello - HUMAN, well informed...never pushy, never judgemental.

I am constantly inspired, repeatedly, on a day to day basis by Emily Koch. It saddens me to think of how she's been judged by people when I cannot think of a better example of someone who is living her life through her beliefs. I've written down a list of the smartest things anyone has ever said to me regarding religion, and Emily's still trumps all: some people are talkers, some people are walkers, when those people get confused and think they are the other, that's when people are offended/alienated by Christianity. Just food for thought.

The thing that seems weird is this:

I really do find alot of joy in celebrating lots of things about lots of different religions. There are alot of parts of Christianity I can relate to. I feel really moved by so many of the Daoist ideas. I love to read the teachings of the Buddha, Gandhi, Muhammad, etc. I ADORE Greek and Roman mythology! I find myself relating to those stories all of the time!

I guess overall what I believe in is the universe. I don't think we are just dead when we're dead. I believe in ghosts, in karma, and in people being put on this earth for a reason.

It's really hard for me to swallow the idea that there is just ONE person's life/ideas that we are supposed to follow. I am so constantly inspired by so many, from preachers to poor college students, that it's way too hard for me to swallow the rules of a religion that say you can only follow one person. I don't follow the rules well, that's one thing I've always known about myself. I can go with the flow, but I always make it work how it works for me, no matter what the situation. I have always been that way.

The Bible is a book. It is open for interpretation and anyone who says any differently needs to do some research. As a writer, ANYTHING that's written is written to touch each reader in a different way - as is any word spoken, and song sung, or any action acted. We are different life forces; we see things differently, each and everyone one. To me, it's a book, like any other book. It teaches some really great things, and some of it I don't agree with. I think Jesus was a great guy, pretty much the ultimate rebel, and people could take ALOT away from his story: stick up for what you believe in, love love love love LOVE. That's the most important message: LOVE. Sad to think how that gets messed up so much, eh?

So, I have decided. I am not going to spend my time trying to convince myself I might possibly MAYBE almost fit into Christianity anymore. I don't fit in anywhere I go, really - why would I think this to be any different. I enjoy some of the messages, and some I don't. I will NOT ever lump all Christians together, because it's just not worth doing to tell you the truth, and I will not let my judgement on one person represent the whole group. BUT, according to the rules, I'm not allowed in the club, haha. Am I going to hell? I don't think so. I think I'm still on the VIP list. I don't think I actually believe that Persephone was pulled into the underworld and returns every spring to Demeter, so why is it so hard to accept that I don't believe that Jesus died, then got up and flew into the sky? I dunno. I'm really not trying to be disrespectful, I'm just trying to put it in a way so that I'm understood.

I believe in LOVE. I believe that all people are good at heart, and that kindness echoes. I believe in karma, and I believe in spirits/angels. I believe that hate is ugly, and that trying to disguise hate by covering it in your beliefs/trying to help others is just as ugly. I believe that just because we all call it a different word: God, the universe, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Mohammad, LIFE, - whatever! - doesn't mean that any one's more right than anyone else, and I believe that is a truly truly beautiful thing. I really think that the most beautiful part of all of this is that we will never know the real truth until the time comes that we find out, and until then I will just keep doing what I think is the best for me and hope that my beliefs can be respected just as much as I respect those of other people's.

the itsy bitsy spiiiiiiiiiderrrr.....

I remember most of my dreams, or at least parts of them, but sometimes parts of the dream will linger throughout the day. I thought this instance was really interesting, because I'm not scared of spiders. They don't really bother me. I think they are kind of cute, actually. 8 is tied for my favorite number, so I like all of their leggies.

ANYWAY - last night I dreamt that I kept picking up blue and red spiders everywhere. That's all I remember. There were lots of them, and I kept picking them up. I did a little research...



Spider

1. An ancient symbol for weaving, and thus for creativity. The dreamer may be going through a rough time in life, and need to find a creative solution to resolve the situation. Dreaming of a spider can be reassuring: You have it in you to find the solution.

2. If the spider seems threatening, or the web too intricate, the message is that you are complicating things unnecessarily and need to simplify your life.

3. If you are an artist of any kind, Spider heralds a rush of creative activity that could point you in a new career direction.

4. A sign of strength and resiliency. Whatever hard times the dreamer is going through now, she has what it takes to get through them.

Astrological parallels: Venus, Pluto.

Tarot parallels: The Magician, Strength.

I highlighted alot of stuff, and this really really makes alot of sense to me. Strength is my card! I've been thinking so hard about so much stuff lately and all of those statements just seem so right at this time. I'm feeling a little inspired, I'd have to say.

r-e-c-y-c-l-e recycleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Persephone is my favorite story of all mythology, and today is her mother, Demeter's day: EARTH DAY!

I'm not going to pretend I do everything I should to help out the earth, I don't recycle enough, and I don't do all the "go green" stuff tv keeps telling you that you should do...

But I do have one recycling cause that I think is more important than any other. Recycling LIFE. Yes, donating blood and organs. I try to send out this link about twice a year to encourage people to become organ donors in the case that anything ever happened to them. You could give the greatest gift of all by recycling something that you wouldn't need anymore.

Just think about it, and visit this link.
https://services.sos.state.mi.us/OrganDonor/Registry.aspx

I leave you with the greatest teaching method regarding recycling and conserving EVER

Post Secret, FTW, yet again

Making a dent...

I'm feeling inspired, and I thought this was a good one to share. I got an email forward today from my mom about a woman named Irena Sendler.

Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ...She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids.) She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi ' s broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family. Most of course had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.

In 2009 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize ... She was not selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.

I hardly ever read email forwards, and I figured it was gonna be ther 212312398th I got about that Britain's got talent lady, haha, but I am so glad I read it. I spent some time doing research on this remarkable woman, and found that what the email said WAS true, and was very inspired to find lifeinajar.com - a website made by a group of US students who were very inspired by her story as well. As a challenge from their teacher, they had to do a project about a person who changed the world; they found info about her, found HER, wrote a plsy about her life and years later are still performing it around the world. Truly inspiring.

I'm a big believer in karma and the universe, and after doing all this research, I found alot of things to be interesting: She died on the birthday of the girl who reached out to her the most during the lifeinajar project, and lots of other dates meshed like that. I found this story today, and then look at what I found on the website.



It makes me smile. I guess I know what I'm doing tonight. I'm glad the universe worked this out for me, haha. :)

Kissin' kissin', that's what I've been missin'...

I was in Target today, standing in the check out line, and I notice the couple in front of me. They are young, but have obviously been together for awhile. She makes a mistake with the credit card machine and he tells her what she's doing wrong, then instantly looks at her face, realizing what he's said; before she has a chance to say anything or bicker he gives her the sweetest softest kiss in the world. She smiles and fixes her mistake.

It was a random act of beauty, and reminded me of how lucky I am. <3

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond...

Sam recently posted a blog about Beth Ditto, and how awesome she is because of her love of her body. I think about body image constantly, and what causes women to have such a hard time with it. Obviously health is important, but all of these women are healthy, beautiful, and bigger than a size 8.

I was in a store the other day, and heard parents ripping their daughter apart without even knowing that they were doing it. I can remember exactly how that felt; the dressing room as a young girl and nothing fitting correctly. Shannon just recently told me how she wrote into Yoplait, telling them that their commercial about real women wanting to lose weight by eating their yogurt absolutely disgusted her, because the "real women were all about a size 2.

I'm so done with feeling bad about myself and watching others feel the same way. I'm compelled to do something about this. I've yet to figure out what it is, but I want to make a difference in the lives of young women who are plagued by this.

Here's a little inspiration.
BEAUTIFUL women.




Jennifer Hudson



Mia Tyler



Sara Ramirez



Meghan McCain



Queen Latifah



Marilyn Monroe



Toccara



My personal favorite, Ms. Mae West...
"I never loved another person the way I loved myself."

Hug your babies tight...

This obviously hit "close to home." All of my boys go to U of M Dearborn, (literally, you could walk over a median and you'd be on that campus, and two out of the three most important men in my life attend school on that day ON that campus. I thank my lucky stars that Norman, Dave, and Katie weren't at class on this day. Obviously this guy knew what he was doing, but this situation could have taken a huge turn for the worse really quickly.

You never know what can happen.




Two killed in Michigan college shooting

* Story Highlights
* NEW: Police believe man shot woman in murder-suicide
* NEW: School offers condolences to "young woman who lost her life today"
* Man, woman found dead in classroom building at Henry Ford Community College
* Scene is contained, campus will remain closed for rest of Friday

(CNN) -- Two people were shot and killed Friday at a community college in Dearborn, Michigan, in what police believe was a murder-suicide, an official said.

A man and woman were found dead in a classroom building on the campus of Henry Ford Community College, Dearborn Deputy Chief Gregg Brighton said.

Investigators believe the man shot the woman but would not provide further information, Brighton said.

A shotgun was involved in the incident, which occurred in a classroom that was not being used, he said.

"We're in the very preliminary stages," Brighton said. "We've just made the scene safe. The crime lab is on the scene with detectives." VideoWatch Brighton describe the scene »

Police responding to a report of gunfire at the school had entered the south hallway of the Fine Arts Building when they heard another gunshot, Brighton said.

"We were in the building when we heard the shotgun blast, and when we finally got to that room, we had two deceased parties," he said at a news conference. "We believe this is a murder-suicide."

The campus was briefly in lockdown and will remain closed for the rest of the Friday, a school official said.

The school's emergency system immediately notified students, faculty and staff about the shooting via e-mail and cell phone, said Marjorie Swan, vice president and controller of the college.

"Our hearts go out to the family and the friends of the young woman who lost her life today," Swan said.

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/10/mich.college.shooting/index.html

A week in pictures

Riley


McDreamy


Elton


Twinsies


BFF

April snow brings May...ummm...???

It's so crazy what a difference the weather makes in our lives. I find it hard to believe that only certain people have seasonal depression; how can people not be affected by the lack of sun and that cold wind cutting on your skin?

I couldn't believe it yesterday night when I drove home from my Mom's at about 12:30. It was seriously worse than alot of the weather that I drove in this winter! The wind was pushing the cars really hard and the roads were super icy so that made it about ten times worse.



Sometimes I feel like one of the only people I know who actually enjoys living in Michigan. Mind you, I was pissed about the weather last night too, but I kinda like the whole if you seek another season, just turn around thing. I've been thinking so much about growing up and starting a family lately, and the fact that I might not be in Michigan forever makes me a little sad. I think Michigan is a gorgeous state, and I think I'd miss it. Especially it's summers and autumns. I dunno. I just felt like this was worth writing about.

There are alot of things "wrong" with Detroit, with Michigan's economy because of the big three; I think our state gets a bad rap sometimes that it doesn't deserve. MSU sucked it up tonight, [that's what happens when you cheer for Sparty instead of the Wolverines I guess, :)] but all joking aside, the mitten has alot going for it. I personally love Detroit, but I guess I try to see the good in it: the home of Motown music, the culture, the art, the festivals and music and fun. Spending evenings at Comerica Park or screaming your brains out at Joe Louis Arena. The DIA is beautiful and the Detroit Festival of the Arts, jazz fest, the summer concerts by the water and all of the free activities our city puts out are, in my opinion, some of the best in the world.

I think Michigan suits me because I am so attracted to water. It draws me in. Another place I could see myself living would definitely be Chicago, and when we were there I was so happy by the amounts of water that were surrounding me. I can't imagine a summer without trips to the lake - jet skiing and laying on rafts in the sun. I love Mackinaw, road trips to Cedar Point (okay, that's Ohio but really, it's a Michigan thing) and "up north". [wherever "up north" is for you, you know you love it!]

When I watched the movie "Bowling for Columbine" Michael Moore visited cities in Michigan that made everyone in the state look like militia gun toting hillbilly freaks. People think of Detroit and they think of people li
ke Eminem and Kid Rock [neither of them actually CAME from Detroit] and everyone talks about how scary it is. I guess Kwame didn't really help us out too much there. When I started going to EMU, when people asked where you were from and you said Downriver, many reacted with, "oh, wow." I never knew people thought downriver to be so trashy or scary or whatever. Personally, I think they should realize that Trenton, Riverview, Grosse Ile...we have NO crime, nothing going on...it's rather boring actually. The recession has rocked this state like no other, and the world sees us as a state full of corporations begging the government for help.

But this is how I see Michigan:
I see this lovely mitten as a state full of beautiful autumn kissed trees. The smell of sweet apples at the orchard and the feel of the spray from the lake will stay with me always. I am proud to be from the state the birthed the Motown Sound, provided the world with the most overqualified teachers ever, will kick your ass at hockey and is where Richard Collier and Elise McKenna fell in love. <3

hehehehehehe

Cute animals eating @ Yahoo! Video

:)

just......wow.

Post Secret, you never fail to inspire, amaze, and touch me.
www.postsecret.com

Everybody plays the fool...

"Oh what a shame that your pockets did bleed on st. valentine's
And you sat in a chair
Thinking "boy i'm such a prince!"
Well, life's a train that goes from february on
Day by day
But it's making a stop on April first..."



I guess the first April Fool's joke that got me today was Adult Swim's AWESOME movie that was on, (did anyone see that, haha it was god awful and hilarious once I actually started watching it) and then you know, my brother's IM of "I hate Black People"......."JUST KIDDING APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!" so that's been it. And I guess since I will only be seeing Harper/other little kids today, (wow, I just started a sentence with and, but nothing else felt right!) that'll be it.

If you can't tell, I'm feeling a little pessimistic/sad this week, and I can't seem to shake it. Overall, I'm really happy and well, but I just can't shake it. (I can't shake him!)(Sheesh, what is up with the parentheses too?) ANYWAY:

So, up there, I posted a picture of one of my favorite tarot cards - the fool. Here's a blurb I stole from wikipedia:


The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. He represents the mystical cleverness bereft of reason within us, the childlike ability to tune into the inner workings of the world. The sun shining behind him represents the divine nature of the Fool's wisdom and exuberance. On his back are all the possessions he might need. In his hand there is a flower, showing his appreciation of beauty. He is frequently accompanied by a dog, sometimes seen as his animal desires, sometimes as the call of the "real world", nipping at his heels and distracting him. He is seemingly unconcerned that he is standing on a precipice, apparently about to step off.

The number 0 is a perfect significator for the Fool, as it can become anything when he reaches his destination. Zero plus anything equals the same thing. Zero times anything equals zero. Zero is nothing, a lack of hard substance, and as such it may reflect a non-issue or lack of cohesiveness for the subject at hand.

I have seriously felt alot like the fool this year. I've taken BIG leaps off of that cliff, some for the better, some for the worse, but in the end I think it's all been worth it. Sometimes my emotional nature makes me feel a little bit too MUCH like the fool - I can react in ways that may not be proactive in my life just because they feel like the right or wrong thing to do, depending on how I feel. Most of all, I can SERIOUSLY relate to the seeing beauty in the world part, and definitly the whole "real world" nipping at your heels thing. I think we all can. I think in our twenties most of us are ALOT like the fool.

So my idea was to list a few reasons why I've played the fool. In my life, lately, whatever. Some are happy, some are sad, but it seems like the right thing to do at this moment, so here I go.

I've played the fool because:

I thought going into education would be a much more secure job than persuing musical theater/performance. I honestly may have been better off making the other choice nowadays.

I spent a large part of my life worrying about being lonely and my position in this world regarding people, I should have realized that I am a people magnet and the ones that matter have been there from the beginning/will be there until the end.

I struggle with the meaning of beauty and finding it in myself, but I find constant beauty in every situation, person, thought, or whatever on the planet and I need to start finding it, agknowledging it, and honoring it more within myself.

I have looked so hard and spent so much time looking for, finding, and obsessing over love and people that I thought I loved and loved me - the one that did was there all along and loved me more than I think any other person could love another. I am thankful my foolishness sorted itself out on this one, because it's the most beautiful and amazing part of my life and I count my lucky shamrocks every day.

I spend so much time working and trying to make it in the world, that I overlook the things that I really love quite often: I need to make more time to sing, sleep, paint, read and do those things because you only get one life and obviously we need to work to support ourselves, but why support a life that doesn't make you happy?

I feel like there are a thousand more I could write about, but that's it for now. I'm trying to drag myself out of this slump so I feel like I'll be writing alot more in the next few days.