ANYWAY - this is supposed to actually be a very serious and thoughtful blog, but of course, you know me - I can't stop thinking of things like Beavis and Butthead.
Okay, back to meaning -
So, I have struggled for many many years with spirituality. I have been blessed, in my everyday life, to be surrounded with constant examples of wonderful role models. Some people taught me about life - others about self esteem. Some people inspire and challenge my creativity, my sense of humor, my grace, my mind, my love for people - and some inspire me spiritually.
I was raised Catholic (duh, we're Irish) and I really enjoyed some parts of it. I'm a literature nut, for one thing, so I really enjoyed learning all of the different stories of the bible. I liked mass at some points because I do enjoy tradition, I like to sing, and I like to listen to good speakers. The Fathers at my churches were always really easy to relate to. I enjoyed it.
As I grew up, I found that my own personal beliefs did not mesh with those of the catholic church, which could have probably broken my sweet Irish Grandmother's heart. I have somewhat of a logical mind for a really emotional person, and quite frankly, alot of Christianity just doesn't make sense/fit with me. It's cool though, I totally respect that so many of my friends are very into Christianity. It's just not for me.
I have been so turned off to "religion" by so many, which is sad. People in this world try so hard to spread joy to others and spread the word and help save people and I really feel like so many of these people are alienating people and discrediting themselves. It's really frustrating and sad to watch, because it really does make you think differently of people.
I have a list of people who inspire me spiritually, and just to name a few:
Courtney Davidson - devout, practicing...accepting of EVERYONE, no matter what.
Shannon Tyrybon - encouraging, believing...she makes it work for her.
Shane Costello - HUMAN, well informed...never pushy, never judgemental.
I am constantly inspired, repeatedly, on a day to day basis by Emily Koch. It saddens me to think of how she's been judged by people when I cannot think of a better example of someone who is living her life through her beliefs. I've written down a list of the smartest things anyone has ever said to me regarding religion, and Emily's still trumps all: some people are talkers, some people are walkers, when those people get confused and think they are the other, that's when people are offended/alienated by Christianity. Just food for thought.
The thing that seems weird is this:
I really do find alot of joy in celebrating lots of things about lots of different religions. There are alot of parts of Christianity I can relate to. I feel really moved by so many of the Daoist ideas. I love to read the teachings of the Buddha, Gandhi, Muhammad, etc. I ADORE Greek and Roman mythology! I find myself relating to those stories all of the time!
I guess overall what I believe in is the universe. I don't think we are just dead when we're dead. I believe in ghosts, in karma, and in people being put on this earth for a reason.
It's really hard for me to swallow the idea that there is just ONE person's life/ideas that we are supposed to follow. I am so constantly inspired by so many, from preachers to poor college students, that it's way too hard for me to swallow the rules of a religion that say you can only follow one person. I don't follow the rules well, that's one thing I've always known about myself. I can go with the flow, but I always make it work how it works for me, no matter what the situation. I have always been that way.
The Bible is a book. It is open for interpretation and anyone who says any differently needs to do some research. As a writer, ANYTHING that's written is written to touch each reader in a different way - as is any word spoken, and song sung, or any action acted. We are different life forces; we see things differently, each and everyone one. To me, it's a book, like any other book. It teaches some really great things, and some of it I don't agree with. I think Jesus was a great guy, pretty much the ultimate rebel, and people could take ALOT away from his story: stick up for what you believe in, love love love love LOVE. That's the most important message: LOVE. Sad to think how that gets messed up so much, eh?
So, I have decided. I am not going to spend my time trying to convince myself I might possibly MAYBE almost fit into Christianity anymore. I don't fit in anywhere I go, really - why would I think this to be any different. I enjoy some of the messages, and some I don't. I will NOT ever lump all Christians together, because it's just not worth doing to tell you the truth, and I will not let my judgement on one person represent the whole group. BUT, according to the rules, I'm not allowed in the club, haha. Am I going to hell? I don't think so. I think I'm still on the VIP list. I don't think I actually believe that Persephone was pulled into the underworld and returns every spring to Demeter, so why is it so hard to accept that I don't believe that Jesus died, then got up and flew into the sky? I dunno. I'm really not trying to be disrespectful, I'm just trying to put it in a way so that I'm understood.
I believe in LOVE. I believe that all people are good at heart, and that kindness echoes. I believe in karma, and I believe in spirits/angels. I believe that hate is ugly, and that trying to disguise hate by covering it in your beliefs/trying to help others is just as ugly. I believe that just because we all call it a different word: God, the universe, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Mohammad, LIFE, - whatever! - doesn't mean that any one's more right than anyone else, and I believe that is a truly truly beautiful thing. I really think that the most beautiful part of all of this is that we will never know the real truth until the time comes that we find out, and until then I will just keep doing what I think is the best for me and hope that my beliefs can be respected just as much as I respect those of other people's.
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